It's been 11 years since my father's passing, also in a hospital room. All I can say is that time - doesn't make it better, but it does make it different. The best thing someone told me, which I try to pass on because it is the only thing that helped was that not to think of the relationship as over just different - that which you got externally you now need to look for internally - but the relationship is still there.
This past Jan. my mother came to live with me, no longer able to live alone. My sisters and I weren't sure if we should bring her to us, or we move to her. I was awakened in the early morning (in a dream) by the phone ringing, when I said hello - I heard my Dad's voice say "San". I took it as a sign that we were doing the right thing.
I don't know if you believe in signs - I believe that those we love come to us in various ways. I have to because the love of my life died last week, losing his battle with cancer. As I look down at the ground making sure I put one foot in front of the other, I will bring him with me.
Good luck on your journey.
Sandi
oso
· 3 years ago
My sympathies Andrew.
A hug,
David
Patty
· 3 years ago
Andrew- I recall that day so vividly too. When I got the call that Uncle Tony had died I too remembered that day at the hospital with your dad exactly as you described it. I can almost feel and hear it all again. I remember Uncle Tony telling grandad that his son was gone. Surreal. Inconceivable that it was true. I remember it all as if it was yesterday and the depths of grief return in the same instant.
I love you-
Aunt Patty
Lena
· 3 years ago
you're never alone when it comes to those feelings... many of us have felt exactly the same way -- which, I hope, gives you some comfort.
I am quite sure your father was as proud of you, as you are/were of him. You're such a wonderfully articulate soul. Although, I do not know you at all, I want to thank you for sharing your feelings with us.
I wish all the best in the world.
Anthony Colpini
· 3 years ago
Andrew,
I was a friend of your father and your Aunt Patty as was my sister Paula Colpini. I have not been very good about keeping up with friends from Naples and was very sorry to learn of your father's death. In my mind he is still the kid I knew in high school and will always be the great runner with an incredibly quircky (sp?) sense of humour. He always managed to keep warm up runs and tedious intervals interesting and was a wonderful foil to our excedeingly dry cross-country/ long distance coach Mr Sullivan. I lost my mother unexpectedly in September 1997 and Labor day weekend is still tough (she died that week). The hurt is still there but it gets manageable as time goes on. My greatest regret is that my kids won't get to know her. I wish I had some sage advice to give you but I don't think there really is any to help you deal with the loss of your dad when he was so young. Your video memorial shows what a wonderful life he lived and your love is a testement to what a wonderful man and father he was. He left behind a great life force and that will never go away.
All Comments
It's been 11 years since my father's passing, also in a hospital room. All I can say is that time - doesn't make it better, but it does make it different. The best thing someone told me, which I try to pass on because it is the only thing that helped was that not to think of the relationship as over just different - that which you got externally you now need to look for internally - but the relationship is still there.
This past Jan. my mother came to live with me, no longer able to live alone. My sisters and I weren't sure if we should bring her to us, or we move to her. I was awakened in the early morning (in a dream) by the phone ringing, when I said hello - I heard my Dad's voice say "San". I took it as a sign that we were doing the right thing.
I don't know if you believe in signs - I believe that those we love come to us in various ways. I have to because the love of my life died last week, losing his battle with cancer. As I look down at the ground making sure I put one foot in front of the other, I will bring him with me.
Good luck on your journey.
Sandi
My sympathies Andrew.
A hug,
David
Andrew- I recall that day so vividly too. When I got the call that Uncle Tony had died I too remembered that day at the hospital with your dad exactly as you described it. I can almost feel and hear it all again. I remember Uncle Tony telling grandad that his son was gone. Surreal. Inconceivable that it was true. I remember it all as if it was yesterday and the depths of grief return in the same instant.
I love you-
Aunt Patty
you're never alone when it comes to those feelings... many of us have felt exactly the same way -- which, I hope, gives you some comfort.
I am quite sure your father was as proud of you, as you are/were of him. You're such a wonderfully articulate soul. Although, I do not know you at all, I want to thank you for sharing your feelings with us.
I wish all the best in the world.
Andrew,
I was a friend of your father and your Aunt Patty as was my sister Paula Colpini. I have not been very good about keeping up with friends from Naples and was very sorry to learn of your father's death. In my mind he is still the kid I knew in high school and will always be the great runner with an incredibly quircky (sp?) sense of humour. He always managed to keep warm up runs and tedious intervals interesting and was a wonderful foil to our excedeingly dry cross-country/ long distance coach Mr Sullivan. I lost my mother unexpectedly in September 1997 and Labor day weekend is still tough (she died that week). The hurt is still there but it gets manageable as time goes on. My greatest regret is that my kids won't get to know her. I wish I had some sage advice to give you but I don't think there really is any to help you deal with the loss of your dad when he was so young. Your video memorial shows what a wonderful life he lived and your love is a testement to what a wonderful man and father he was. He left behind a great life force and that will never go away.
Tony Colpini